SPOILER WARNING: The following article contains absolutely massive spoilers for Deadpool. If you haven’t seen the film yet, and don’t wish to have any parts of the movie ruined, we recommend clicking away to another one of our wonderful articles.
From its opening credits to its very special Ferris Bueller’s Day Off riff at the end, director Tim Miller’s Deadpool is easily one of the funniest comic book movies that we’ve seen to date. And while a great deal of that comes from the physical humor on display, most of the credit belongs to the dialogue. From the script by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, to improv done by the movie’s stars, the blockbuster is absolutely jam-packed with hilarious one-liners that have been causing audiences to practically fall out of their seats laughing.
Given how funny Deadpool is, we could have probably just put the entire script up here and called it an assembly of amazingly funny lines, but instead we’ve plucked out the top 30 that really worked and made us chuckle hardily. Did your favorite quip/jab/joke make the list? Read on to find out!
"House blowing up builds character."Cool as it may be, Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters has a bit of a rough past in the comics and movies – regularly getting invaded and/or blown up. At least Colossus is able to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing, though.
"Bad Deadpool… Good Deadpool!"Possessing only 12 bullets to take down a cadre of armed bad guys, managing to waste a few on a slippery motorcyclist is certainly not Deadpool’s best moment in the movie, but the good news is that he makes up for that mistake fairly quickly with two deadly headshots.
"Whose kitty litter did I just shit in?"Wade Wilson is exactly the kind of weirdo who would shit in a cat’s litter box just to prove a point… but thanks to the awkward silence that follows the above line, we may never know exactly what went down in that back room before Wade came out to greet the pizza guy.
"Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf."Deadpool eponymous protagonist certainly gets the best lines in the movie (as you’ll discover continuing to read this piece), but Vanessa certainly get a few brilliant and hilarious moments of her own – such as when she grabs Buck’s nut sack after he slaps her ass.
"Happy Lent."No other superhero movie has a sex scene that can match the "Calendar Girl" sequence in Deadpool - but as great as every holiday celebration is, the crown has to go to the Wade and Vanessa’s quick stint of abstinence in the middle of the montage.