I go on vacation for a week and suddenly Hollywood is making another Rambo movie? You can’t drop your guard for a second with these people. The long rumored Rambo 4 is now officially happening according to Production Weekly, JoBlo, Bob’s Blog of Big Movies, and every other site whose head honcho wasn’t off in the deserts of New Mexico having another exotic Applebee’s luncheon with Scott Gwin. Good thing I’m back.

Stallone is absolutely on board and will reprise his role as John Rambo for a sequel currently titled, Rambo IV: In The Serpent’s Eye. Why does that sound like the title of the next Metal Gear Solid? It seems like a natural progression. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater to Metal Gear Solid 4: In The Serpent’s Eye? Maybe Stallone’s hoping to suck in some of the bleary-eyed videogame crowd.

This time Rambo will help protect Christian missionaries against Pirates, once again combining two of Hollywood’s latest greatest crazes into a single film. Pirates are big, Jesus is big, how can we get Rambo to fight them both? Serpent’s Eye is born.

JoBlo has a few more details on who might show up in the film besides Rambo, courtesy of a casting call. See a list of non-Rambo characters expected to be in the film over with them here if you care. Personally, I don’t. It’s relief workers and red-shirts mostly. We’re watching for Rambo. I wonder if he’ll kill somebody?