Hey remember when vampires were scary? That’s right kids, vampires used to have fangs and you know, kill people instead of romancing their women. Seriously ladies, what’s the deal with all the vampire lust? What happened to independent, strong women? What does it say about you when your fantasy is to be overpowered and sucked dry by a demon creature from the underworld? At least pirates sort of made sense, after all they do seem to wear a lot of eyeliner. What’s next? Emo Jack the Ripper? Woman walking down dark alleys hoping someone will wring their necks? It’s a little sick.

There’s only one person who can save the world from the invasion of teenage Emo vampires, and his name is Corey Feldman. He’s saved us from blood suckers before, and he can do it again. Cheer him on as he sticks a stake right in this awful new, sexy vampire trend below: