Life is kinda rough right now, and because of that, there are several things that many of us need just to get through the days and weeks ahead. We need entertainment, hope, something to help lighten our current emotional load and reminders of why it's important to keep living our whole lives within the four walls we pay for as much as possible. Well, we can look no further than the king of badassedry himself, Samuel L. Jackson, reading the new children's story Stay the Fuck at Home, to fulfill all of those needs.
That's right folks, thanks to author Adam Mansbach, who wrote the instant children's classic Go the Fuck to Sleep, we now have the perfect curse-laden story for these shitty coronatimes. Samuel L. Jackson stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live recently, and after talking about what he and his family are doing while self-isolating and his spoiled vacation plans with Magic Johnson, he treated us to some perfectly timed literary expletives. Take a look below, and enjoy the reading for yourself at the 6:10 mark:
Oh, boy. I think we can all agree that there are some people who need to have this fed directly into their earholes several times a day until they get the message that staying in is for the best right now. No, Meeghan, it doesn't count as "a supply run" when your favorite pen runs out of ink. You'll just have to compose your Grey's Anatomy Merluca fanfic on your phone like everyone else, OK?
As Samuel L. Jackson noted, he's not a doctor, but all of us motherfuckers do indeed listen when he reads a poem, so it's good to get this tidy reminder that we need to stay the fuck at home right now. It was just a few weeks ago when pretty much everything began to shut down, so that people could retire to their personal spaces and self-isolate to try to keep the virus from becoming even more serious. This included the production of many TV shows (like Jimmy Kimmel Live and The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon), movie theaters, schools and a lot of businesses which encouraged employees to work from home.
We've still seen many people contract the virus, including celebrities like CNN's Chris Cuomo, Daniel Dae Kim, The Bachelor's Colton Underwood and more, and they've all come out to talk about their diagnosis and quarantine process. But, they've also offered words of encouragement for others who've gotten sick, and for everyone who's having trouble dealing with self-isolation, as well as telling those who don't think staying at home (or self-distancing when you do need to go out) is, in fact, really, really the best thing to do right now.
Honestly, if you don't listen to Samuel L. Jackson, even though he is quite a bit more lighthearted in the video than we usually see him, I think it's probably safe to say that once this is all over he'll find you and fuck you up. So, just stay the fuck at home, alright?