For many of us, Hollywood seems like a strange land full of people who live totally unreal lives. For the most part, it seems that that’s just a stereotype and that the famous people in Hollywood actually have a lot of the same habits that everyday people have, like walking their dog down the street or going to the grocery store in sweats. However, every once in a while we’ll get a glimpse into the life of a celebrity and be completely bewildered. Case in point: Orlando Bloom, who has put people in a state of wonder after sharing his insane morning routine. And the internet definitely has thoughts.
Orlando Bloom has been pretty well out of the limelight since his last appearances in the Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises, with the exception of his role in Carnival Row a couple years ago, which made some waves. It sounds like the actor has been pretty busy though, because in between smaller roles, getting engaged to pop star Katy Perry, and having a daughter, Bloom has been having an entire spiritual awakening before the sun is even up everyday. In an interview with The Sunday Times, Bloom laid out how he starts his day and it’s pretty wild. Here it is in his own words:
I like to earn my breakfast so I’ll just have some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein. It’s all quite L.A. really. Then I’ll go for a hike while I listen to some Nirvana or Stone Temple Pilots. By 9 a.m., it’s breakfast, which is usually porridge, a little hazelnut milk, cinnamon, vanilla paste, hazelnuts, goji berries, a vegan protein powder and a cup of PG Tips [tea]. I’m 90 percent plant-based, so I’ll only eat a really good piece of red meat maybe once a month. I sometimes look at a cow and think, that’s the most beautiful thing ever.
I mean, good for you, Orlando Bloom. You get props from the girl who will only get out of bed for the promise of coffee. The rest of the internet isn’t so nice, though. Twitter is running rampant with mockery of Bloom, who I now suspect is kind of superhuman. One Twitter user shared his interview thinking it may have been a spoof, but sometimes the truth is funnier than any joke:
While it probably sucks for Orlando Bloom to be suddenly relevant again just to be the butt of jokes, I certainly hope he’s seeing the humor in some of these Tweets, because they are honestly hilarious. A ton of Twitter users are comparing Bloom to Patrick Bateman, the serial killer in American Psycho. Here’s one such Tweet where you can really see where the comparison stems from:
You’ve got to admit, they are honestly eerily similar. Keep it up Orlando Bloom, you may just find yourself on a list somewhere of possible suspects. Another otherworldly perspective, though, is one of a parent. One Twitter user points out that Bloom is a father to a young child now, and his parenthood journey looks wildly different than most of us normies:
There were also some folks that took to reciting Orlando Bloom's morning routine. Add in a delightful accent, and you've got internet gold. Check it out below.
All jokes aside, though, are we really going to down a guy for having a seemingly ultra healthy lifestyle and a love of cows? After all, Orlando Bloom isn’t hurting anybody - well, maybe our self esteem a little bit. It's okay, I'll always love you Will Turner, even if you are a bit of a weirdo these days.