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5 Things We Want To See From The Full House Spinoff

For everyone who was either still in denial or still in ecstatic disbelief, a recent teaser was that first officially official (and largely creepy) sign that Fuller House is a thing that exists that will introduce a new generation of the Tanners to new generations of viewers. Even in this current deluge of revival programming, the hyper-wholesome Fuller House is still something of an oddity, jaunting from 1980s-1990s network TV to the utopia of Netflix, and being a continuation spinoff that largely just reboots the premise of the original series. It’s trying to be the best of all worlds, and by the power of Ranger Joe, we hope it succeeds.

Here are the 5 things we definitely want to see the most when Fuller House hits Netflix next month. It’s true that we’ll be able to live our lives in a normal fashion if none of these picks are utilized, but what kind of living would that be? WHAT KIND?

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Fabulously Horrific Hair and Clothes

It’s strange to look back at how often Full House referenced hair and fashion, but so rarely in the way that involved a government body questioning the characters’ sanity at the time when clothes and hairstyles were chosen. This will not be a proper entry in the Full House Cinematic Universe without 75% of the characters wearing eye-popping outfits that look mildly goofy now but then mentally scarring 20 years from now. We know that John Stamos still has banging hair and that it will likely play a large role in how Uncle Jesse eased into middle age. (Perhaps with a secondary mullet-lite stage.) But where’s the fun in Fuller House having a truly stylish hair and makeup team behind the scenes? Considering a follow-up teaser for the show featured the three leading ladies dancing to “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae),” we’ve no doubt Fuller House’s “modern” touches will be instant classics.

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New Catchphrases

Of course we’re down to hear Jesse saying “Have Mercy” after locking lips with Becky, who no doubt has to abhor hearing it after so many years of marriage. And I hope someone is instantly rude to Stephanie so that she can call them out on it. But the catchphrases of old need to take a bow and pave the way for a new batch of cornball declarations. Given the relatively short season that Fuller House is getting on Netflix – with an eventual renewal more likely than Danny’s new house being spotless – there won’t be a whole lot of time to cement new ones in place, but it won’t take much. As soon as D.J.’s son reacts to a mistake with, “Well, that’s a poo bargain,” or if Kimmy’s daughter refers to a good moment as “Selfie Time,” we’ll know what we’re dealing with, and we’ll all cringe comfortably together.

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A Tolerable Kimmy Gibbler

Kimmy Gibbler showed up in the Tanner household quite a bit on Full House, but Andrea Barber’s eccentric BFF is a main player in the spinoff, which means some of her quirks will hopefully be toned down a bit. Sure, real people still retain a bit of their youthful traits as they mature into adults, but all bets are off when paid writers are responsible for shaping that adulthood. Present-day Kimmy is a single mother whose ex-husband had a wandering eye, though he still pines for her. This scenario could easily make her daughter and/or her ex out to be the oddball, while Kimmy herself looks normal in comparison. At least, assuming she isn’t wearing dashiki-print overalls and pigtails. She doesn’t need to leave all of her Gibblerness behind. Just a lot of it.

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Music, Music, Music

It’s possible to count the number of times Full House incorporated music into the storylines, but it’s most definitely impossible to put a value on the deer-in-headlights joy those moments brought. From the heartstring strangulation of “Michelle’s Smiling” to the Smash Club performances to multiple cameos from the Beach Boys, this sitcom was as tune-filled as TGIF got, and Fuller House desperately needs to carry on that aspect of the legacy. (Or maybe I’m the desperate one here.) Modern Stephanie has musical aspirations, so that’s an avenue we’ll presumably get to witness, and I can’t explain the amount of disappointment that will surface if she doesn’t embrace some jazz dancing when or when not applicable. But will Jesse still have his Rippers? Will there be other unpredictably baffling cameos? Will Joey have put out a music comedy album by this point? These are important questions

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Surprise Michelle Cameo

As far as TV controversies go, Full House remained largely free from headline-grabbing fiascoes, minus some substance abuse and Bob Saget’s dirty mouth. The biggest mini-hurdle Fuller House has experienced on its way to streaming has been the Olsen twins. The super-successful siblings were the outliers in the “who will return” conversations about the new series, and after some back and forth about their involvement, it was confirmed that there would be no Michelle showing up. (Though she will get mentioned.) But wouldn’t it be incredible – on a sliding scale of incredible things – if all of the public talk was just a smokescreen for a behind-closed-doors deal where the Olsens DO appear. It could be an in-person deal, or Michelle could just Skype the fam-fam from New York. Doesn’t matter. Just figure out a way to get it done, people in charge.

Fuller House is set to premiere on Netflix on Friday, February 26, 2016.

Nick Venable

Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.