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You asked for it and Coffee Stain Studios delivered. Goat Simulator 2014 is a real thing and the game is breaking down the boundaries of sanity and realism for one of the most epic simulation games ever made... ever.
Goat Simulator started as something of a joke; a thing people would meme on about whenever one of those endless other “true-to-life” simulators would get announced or get released. The usual response to something like Farming Simulator 2013 or Woodcutter Simulator 2014 was “This game sucks, I wish they would make Goat Simulator instead!” or the usual “What's next? Goat Simulator?” Well folks, you kept egging it on and the egg fired back... hard.
Coffee Stain Studios took people up on the request to do the undeniably outrageous, the ridiculously over-the-top, the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and bring goats to a living room near you.
The game isn't just some throwaway experience either, it probably offers more gameplay variety than the latest Angry Birds title, more open-world interactivity than Call of Duty and more tongue-licking action than a sordid group of thugs from the newest Tomb Raider.
Gamers can explore the beautifully open world of Goat Simulator while partaking in true-to-life goat things, such as using your head to knock things over or ram your body into things, or jump through second-story windows using reverse dolphin diving techniques.
Inexplicably so, you can attach your goat-tongue to anything and drag it along with you in all its rag-doll worthy glory. You can use the tongue-licking to pick up objects, throw objects or hunt down people and chase them around corners, or hide in the bushes and surprise attack them.
My only wish is that someone makes a horror movie machinima with this game, where they stealthily hunt down people and brutally rag-doll them with the goat. Speaking of which, I hope this game has multiplayer, because it would be very awesome to engage in goat deathmatch and then send over a video to PETA. They seem to like those sort of things... or do they?
Heck, I'm at the end of the article and I could still go on for a few hundred more words about Goat Simulator and all the awesome gameplay it sports. That's quite rare in this day and age where I can barely squeeze 100 hundreds out of a post for the latest bit of Call of Duty DLC entitled “I can't believe they put zombies in the powder room”. Yeah, they're putting zombies in the powder room now.
Anyway, you can pick up a digital copy of Goat Simulator for only $9.99 right now from the official website. The game will be available on Steam soon. I get the feeling that this could be the sleeper hit of 2014 and it seems to be the only title that deserves a GOATY in 2014.