Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith are both busy people. This year, Will Smith already did a lot of fun promotion for his big blockbuster movie Bad Boys 3 and Jada Pinkett Smith has a role in The Matrix 4, which saw its production shut down. Even now, when work has slowed for actors, the two have filmed for her Facebook series Red Table Talk, which is where Jada Pinkett Smith admitted she doesn’t “know Will at all.”
In fact, the two have been taking the current global stressors in stride and have been open about talking about isolation and more during episodes of Red Table Talk. During a recent show, she also talked about how her family is changing now that they are spending so much more time together. She noted:
I have to be honest. I think one of the things that I've realized is that I don't know Will at all. Let me tell you, I feel like there's a layer that you get to, right? Life gets busy and you create these stories in your head, and then you hold onto these stories and that is your idea of your partner; but that's not who your partner is.
In the Red Table Talk with Pastor John Gray and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith also told the pastor and her family she’s learning more about herself now that she feels she can take the time to do so. For example, she often has to “take a breath” and “recognize I’m in fight” mode when she’s dealing with conflict. But the learning isn’t just extending to herself, it’s extending to her partner of 22 years Will Smith, too. She noted:
Let me tell you that’s been something, to be married to someone for 22 years and to realize, ‘I don’t know you and you don’t know me.’ But also realizing too there’s an aspect of yourself you don’t know either.
I think to varying degrees people are always learning new things about ourselves, what grit and mettle we have, as well as how much we rely on and know about our partners. If you are a person who works constantly (which a lot of actors are) or are often busy doing things outside of the home, all of this inside time may or may not change your perspective on your own relationships, as it seems to be doing for Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.
This leads me to the question: What are Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith doing about it? Luckily, she answered that too and it all has to do with “learning to love” yourself.
Going through the process of having to go through the stories and all the ideas of Will I’ve built around those stories, the thing that Will and I are learning to do is be friends. Because you get into all of these ideas about what intimate relationships are supposed to look like, what Will and I are supposed to be. So, Will and I are in the process of him taking the time to learn to love himself, me taking the time to learn to love myself, right and us building a friendship along the way.
In fact, though, when the couple hit their 20th anniversary a couple of years ago, Will Smith also shared his thoughts about the things he has learned in the long time he’s been with his partner that complements what his wife is saying here. So, they do seem like a couple that is generally striving to understand themselves and their families.
Jada Pinkett Smith may feel like she doesn’t “know Will at all,” but her ability to see these holes and cracks in their foundation and address them is probably one of the reasons the couple is still together after 22 years when a lot of other Hollywood couples in particular don’t make it over the long haul. Here’s to 22 more years of marriage for the couple… oh and selfishly, here’s hoping The Matrix 4 gets back off the ground sooner rather than later.