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So far we've mostly focused on the women who have been added to the What To Expect When You're Expecting cast-- and given that it's a movie about people having babies, focusing on the actual birth-givers seems pretty fair to me. Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks and Wendi McLendon-Covey are among the names large and small that have signed on for yet another omnibus project about relationships, but now it's time to focus on a few of the men. In a big burst of press releases Lionsgate has announced that Dennis Quaid, Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford and Glee's Matthew Morrison have all joined the film as well.
Given the amount of detail the studio reveals in all of these press releases, it seems possible to assemble the film's entire plot if you put your mind to it. Quaid will be playing the husband of Brooklyn Decker's character-- yes, 57-year-old Quaid will be movie married to a 24-year-old supermodel, proving that starring in The Right Stuff really does pay off. Anyway, Quaid's character treats the impending arrival of his twins as another chance to compete with his son, Colin, who's also expecting (and who, so far as I can tell, has not yet been cast).
Crawford and Morrison fit into their own plotlines as well, and it's a serious contest as to which is more ridiculous. Morrison's character is paired up with Diaz's as partners on a show that sounds suspiciously like Dancing With The Stars--and it's unclear which of them is supposed to be the celebrity, though my bet's on Diaz. As the press release puts it, "All their heat on and off the dance floor soon sparks a bun in the oven that will force them to synch their bi-coastal lives and re-asses what matters in life – all while in the national spotlight." No, but wait until I tell you about what happens to Chace Crawford; he's paired up with Anna Kendrick as two owners of food trucks engaged in a turf war who also happen to be exes. As we all know, one minute you're arguing over where you can sell your artisanal lobster rolls, the next you're having a baby together; quoth the press release, "they embark on a funny, poignant journey together in the wake of a surprise pregnancy."
I'm already exhausted by the cutesy trendiness of this movie, and of course, it doesn't even exist yet. The fact that it's set for release on Mother's Day weekend next year, May 11, just pushes me one step closer to strangling myself with the straps on one of the many giant strollers that occupies my baby-friendly neighborhood.