12/17 – 12/19 New movies come out each weekend, many of them are not worth your time. Many of them are. So make a stop here before heading out to the theater to figure out which newly released, unfortunate event you’ll be spending your money and possibly valuable potential dating time on. Three really big openers hitting theaters this weekend to compete against last week’s big box office winner Ocean’s 12. But, the money doesn’t matter. Only one of these is actually worth your time.
Flight of the Phoenix
A movie about building planes in the desert might sound like a good idea, unless the script is written by gibbons and the film is directed by a tribble. Ok, technically I can’t actually prove that John Moore is a tribble, but I imagine that an actual tribble would do just about as good a job behind the camera. Flight of the Phoenix isn’t painful, in fact in spots it’s actually sort of fun. But it’s also pretty bad. If you see it, you’ll only be seeing it for a few nice scenes of heavy labor and some great work by Giovanni Ribisi and his fantastically platinum hair. The original is a fairly nice movie in which Jimmy Stuart plays against type, the remake is a forgettable affair with a horrifying soundtrack and miserable acting from the inconsistent brother of Randy. Pass it up.
Spanglish
The best advertising spiel Sony Pictures could come up with to promote Spanglish is a tagline asking if you liked As Good as it Gets. Well I did kind of like As Good as it Gets, but that movie didn’t have Adam Sandler in it, a casting decision which seems sort of random in a movie whose title indicates that it might in some way involve people of Mexican or Latin heritage. I suppose there are actual Spanish speakers in it, but Sony is only promoting the presence of Sandler and the similarities the film has to As Good as it Gets. Though people loved it at first, I think the world has in the interim sort of forgotten about As Good as it Gets and whatever mild affinity I might have once had for it is certainly no reason to head out and see this. Unless Sandler is being directed by P.T. Anderson or doing something funny with Rob Schneider or possibly being hit in the balls, I’m not terribly interested. Keep on scrolling.
Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Lemony Snicket seems as if it is being marketed by a complete manic depressive, and that appeals to me. The film is supposedly pretty downbeat for a kiddie movie, and that’s the sort of thing I’d like to get behind. Kids need to be miserable now and then too. It’ll prepare them for hating life and becoming a failure when they grow up. Along with a somewhat dark yet still family friendly atmosphere, A Series of Unfortunate Events also sports Jim Carrey as an actor character named Count Olaf, who engages in zany antics and generally evil, nasty things. Being a total jerk works for Carrey, especially if he can combine total bastard with wacky freak. I wasn’t that blown away by him in Eternal Sunshine, I’d much rather see him in a role like this where he’s totally unleashed. Brave the wave of kids not seeing Christmas movies or The Incredibles and make Lemony Snicket your flick for the weekend.
Still In Theaters and Worth Your Time: The Incredibles, Kinsey, Finding Neverland, Sideways, National Treasure
